Monday, 6 January 2014

Connect your kids!

Being Mom it’s our responsibility to facilitate love, care and compassion among our kids. I know some parents who on perceiving the first signal of argument start hovering like a bee. Their first and last option is to separate them, disengage them to avoid any further fights without least notion that they are interrupting a process, nipping the tender plant of companionship without giving it a chance to grow into a strong, deeply rooted and well founded relation!

I’m not suggesting that don’t interrupt even their screams reach high till sky. I have three kids Alhamdulillah and a perfect idea how well they manage to let us go crazy. But separating them is not the solution! Whatever you would do, from buying them identical toys to separate play areas, they will quarrel. Each time you put all of your efforts in eliminating every reason and all the causes which may lead to their fist fighting and tongue twisting, they manage to devise a new one J So what are you supposed to do?

·         Nothing is more natural than sibling’s rivalry, accept it!

·         Bonding starts from early days. Facilitate combine games and play times.

·         Frequently tell them how important they are for each other. Try your best to develop trust and reliance upon each other, among your kids.

·         Your little words of reassurance can create a big difference. Keep reminding your kids either together or alone that ‘no matter how much they fight, they will always be each other’s best friend.’

·         Be totally impartial and never ever takes sides of either party. Nothing can flare up negative feelings in kids than sibling comparisons.

·         Give them time to solve issues at their own, only plunge in when you think that things are getting out of control.

·         Never rebuke your child in presence of her sibling.

·         It’s natural whenever kids play, the dominating one tries to take advantage of her weaker siblings. I know very well that how annoying it is but hold yourself from interrupting or passing any comments as long as they are having fun. You won’t like to strengthen your one child at the cost of other. Instead of improving things you will make them conscious, uncomfortable and distant from each other. Its better if you use other occasions to develop leadership skills in your less strong child, encourage his independent thinking and decision making.

·         Siblings have common interests too, apart from individual likes and dislikes. They may like to play ‘make belief’ games together or do art work or simply build houses with mattresses and pillows. Facilitate their mutual playing even if they end in fighting.

·         The more time siblings spend together, more connected they will be as adults, insha AllahJ

Let your kids live their days. They will fight; they will scream but eventually end up in being a team! Their arguments will enable them to reach a settlement, their fights will tell them to value peaceful playing, and their teasing will create memories to cherish!