How to be a Better Mom in 31 days :)

You may be thinking why a better Mom and why not a better person?

 Well I think most of us are already better persons! We tolerate many unpleasant behaviours, we expect and accept obscenities with patience, we understand each others limitations, we care and share, we cooperate and appreciate, we listen attentively and answer politely. And most of us most of the time manage to follow most of above mentioned traits....which according to my opinion makes us good persons....but... let's pause for a while and think about the times when we couldn't manage to follow these qualities.....I don't know about others but I can share mine!
 
To rest of the world I'm a sweet person who talks politely and smiles a lot :P but somehow my otherwise composed self takes a ride into tantrum alley once my kids are around :O

But I truly despise myself for losing my control over and over with my kids. I had enough of promising to Allah that I'm extremely sorry for being so ungrateful and from now on I'll be a better mom. I'm tired of reminding myself three times a day that it doesn't matter a bit whether their meal is finished or not, their room is clean or messy, thing which matters is my yelling and screaming which may leave dirty scratches on their innocent minds. Its perfectly fine if my daughter wants to wear that hilariously unusual combination, I am mature enough to not to think what others would say, my daughter's self esteem is most important to me than people s opinion but still I'll persuade her to wear something nice and proper, I remind myself time and again that there is no harm in letting things go........ there are so many ifs and its that I possibly couldn't write them and if I try I'll end up in having mile high blog just like the building they are planning to build in Jaddah :P

The core point is that to me it doesn't matter what others would think about me but I cannot bear it if my kids think low of me. However, ironically I always give the best of myself to others than to my kids!

Though I'm always not like this but still my tantrums are recurrent and my smiles are few, I anger more and joke less!

I read articles and books about parenting, I discuss with my friends and share with experts but nothing could improve me. I appreciate all the great tips, tools and tactics regarding parenting which I get through different people and channels but I couldn't get enough nerves and time to practise them. They evaporate the moment my kids answer me back.

I want to be a mom with strong nerves and calm personality. How can I teach them to LIVE life when every little situation from sibling fighting to dirty rooms freak me out. How can I expect them to use reason with each other when I'm forcing my decsionns on them. How can I guide them if I'm lost in half way. I seriously need to improve myself!

I so want to be the best memory of my kids' childhood!!!

 And I know that I can do it all I need is a believing heart, a determined mind, a smiling face and a hot cup of tea :)

All of us read a lot, discuss in detail, share to the last bit about parenting but what we forget is 'practising'. Practising every day, all the time till it becomes our habit, till it becomes us, till every situation offers us solution, till we become better moms!

So from now on we will practise. One habit each day! Its difficult to memorise an entire article but quite easy to practise one thing. tomorrow is first December and I'll share one parenting tool every day till 31st December. And together we will make sure to stick to it on daily basis with a hope to emerge on first of January as Better Moms than we are now inshAllah :)

So stay in touch, do share your own experiences and favourite parenting tools in 'comments'. To be updated about coming articles click 'follow' or like facebook page.https://www.facebook.com/pages/Thebetterme/622776007764851?ref=hl

 

Its lovely to see you around :) stay happy and blessed :)

Day One : Compassion
http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/12/compassion.html

Day Two : Be Prepared
http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/12/be-prepared-day-2-of-how-to-be-better.html

Day three: Be there!
http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/12/be-there-day-three-of-how-to-be-better.html

Day four: Watch your expectations!
http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/12/watch-your-expectations-day-4-of-how-to.html

Day five: Let's bake some cupcakes
http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/12/lets-bake-some-cupcakes-d.html
 

Deliciously easy dinner for weekend :)

Everyone loves weekends! Nothing can surpass the joy of re tucking in quilt after Fajr! No rushing and screams but bed, blanket and dreams ;p  Though being a Mom you can't indulge into  much of such luxuries still we look forward to them.The most tiring task to me over a weekend is to leave my sofa :P and I have to remind myself over and over again that its been ages I left my bachelor status and my lovely Mom, who used to cook my favourite meals over weekend and now I myself am a MOM and my kids and hubby are eagerly waiting to endeavour something special..phew :/  So I've learnt some super easy and super tasty recipes over the years. Here I'll share three of these no mess,no fuss recipes with you :)

Yogurt Chicken

• Take the pan in which you will cook your chicken.Pour one and a half cups of yogurt, 1/4th cup of oil, 1 and 1/2 tea spoon of salt, 1/2 tea spoon of black pepper, 1/2 tea spoon of red chili powder ( I'm from Pakistan and red chili is a main part of our cuisine, however you can add paprika instead of it :) ,1/4 tea spoon crushed whole red chillies ( you can omit it or add more of it according to your taste buds :) and 1 table spoon of ginger,garlic paste (optional). Whisk or mix all the ingredients.

 

• Add chicken and thoroughly mix in yogurt. 

Cover and cook over a medium flame till your chicken is done and oil surfaces(almost half an hour) 

Your Chicken is ready! Enjoy :D

Here are some variations which will add a twist to this treat.

• Add 1/4 inches thick potato rounds when your chicken is half done. These tart potatoes enhance the flavour of dish.

• You can add round slices of capsicum once chicken is done. Cover the lid for five minutes.

• My favourite twist is to add round cuts one large onion and one lime once chicken is done. Mix gently without covering otherwise it will get soggy. Dish it out and top it with thinly sliced ginger and green chillies. Serve hot with Naan...mmmmMMmmmm ..YuMmmmm! 

Garlic Rice

• Heat 1/4 cup of light olive oil (or any vegetable oil of your choice.)
• Add 2 table spoons of roughly chopped garlic. Saute for one minute over medium flame.
• Add  3 cups of fresh boiled rice (add salt while boiling) and one cup of chopped spring onion (green part only). Lightly mix, serve and enjoy :)

My twist is to add one tea spoon of  Chinese salt, two table spoons of soy sauce, quarter tea spoon of chili flakes and few drops of  yellow food colour mixed in milk. Cover it and let it simmer over low flame for five minutes .

For salad I mixed sweet corn kernels with a bit of black pepper and a table spoon of olive oil.

Quick Mix Apple Cake

• Grease an eight inches round pan thoroughly. Sprinkle one heaped table spoon of flour and spread it evenly.

• Add two eggs, half cup of oil, quarter cup of milk, one cup of all purpose flour, one tea spoon baking powder and half cup of granulated sugar. Mix them with a spoon or wire whisk till ingredients are combined almost one minute.

• 
  

• Put two chopped green apples ( there were no green apples so I used the red ones :P ), one table spoon of cinnamon powder, three table spoons of brown sugar and one table spoon of butter or margarine. Microwave for one minute. Mix and gently add to cake batter.

• Bake in preheated oven at 350 F for 25 to 30 minutes. Insert tooth pick in the centre to check the cake. If its clean your cake is done. Never open your oven door in the first half of baking time.

Put it in the oven before serving dinner. It will be done when you'll finish your food. Leave it in the pan for seven minutes. Run a butter knife along the sides. Put your platter on top of the pan, tap the bottom and your cake will gently slide on the plate. Serve hot.

My twist is to add a handful of chopped walnuts to the batter before baking.

You can replace the apple part with a tea spoon of vanilla and it would be a great recipe for an easy mess free, fuss free vanilla cake :)

I hope you would enjoy the recipies. If you have any questions then post in the comments and I'll get right back to you inshAllah. Do share your experience and photos here or in our facebook page.

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Have a wonderful and blessed weekend :)

 How to be a better Mom in 31 days!

Day One; COMPASSION
Day two; Be Prepared
Day three; Be there!
Day Four; Watch your Expectations!
Day Five; Let's bake some cupcakes!
Day Six; Five minutes means five minutes!
Day Seven; Weekend Fun!
Day Eight; How to help your kids to keep their room tidy!
Day Nine; Let's arrange your kids' closet!
Day Ten; Please don't embarrasse Mama :(
Day Eleven; Be a Proactive Mom!
Day Twelve; Engage your kids in household work!
Day Thirteen; Let's decorate some cupcakes!
Day Fourteen; Listen to them!
Day Fifteen; Be Patient!
Day Sixteen; Inspire your child to dream!
Day Seventeen; Give them books :)
Day Eighteen; Give values to your kids!
Day Nineteen; Let's be grateful to our kids for being there!
Day Twenty; Pamper your child :)
Day Twenty-One; Be a Happy Mom :)
Day Twenty-two; 'Our kids are for different times.'
Day Twenty-three; Hugs and Kisses :)
Day Twenty-four; Be the first and the best friend of your child :)
Day Twenty-five; Parenting is about growth!
Day Twenty-six; Enjoy your child!
Day Twenty-seven; Keep on moving; your efforts will be rewarded!
Day Twenty-eight; Routines are life savers!
Twenty-nine; Connect your kids!
Day Thirty; You are the best Mom :)
Day Thirty-one Heavy lies the head that wears a crown !

Loads of thanks for reading :)

Wishing you a wonderful day !

Do share your thoughts with us in 'comments' below :)

I would love to read your words :)

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On board with kids :)

 

 

 



Travelling with kids always freak us out. But a little planning physically as well as mentally can make it real FUN for all of us. Here I'll share some of my hands on knowledge which I gained over last many years after a real LOT of travelling :)

This is second part of my blog ' On board with kids ' . You can read first part here http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/11/on-board-with-kids.html

TRAVELLER MOM'S 101

• What a relief it is to reach hotel even if its a two hours flight! The whole lot of work which you've been doing over last so many days is about to be rewarded! But a little bit of work on the very day or night your reach your destination will turn your days into no messing no fussing time. Yes, you're right, I'm about to suggest lets unpack! Though its a tiring step to take on very first day but nothing can surpass its effectiveness. The energy and time you'll spend now for maximum an hour will earn you coming days full of relaxation and leisure.
• All the hotel rooms have closets and chest of drawers. Allocate one drawer to one child. Put their stuff inside and make them in charge of it. Once their clothes ( denims, shirts, undies, socks) will be arranged, it will be easy for them to pick and wear whatever they like. Particularly when everything inside is their favourite :) Read part 1 :)
• Once bags are empty and everything at its place, stack them on the holder or place them in a corner.
• Turn the vacant part of your room closet into a laundry hamper. Fold and dump all your soiled and dirty clothes there. It will end the hassle of opening and closing bags again and again. Even kids can easily manage to do this. And in the end all you are required to do is to pick up all the clothes and dump them in your suitcases.
• Specify a place for shoes :D     You may dislike the idea but it really freaks me out to see shoes everywhere so on the very first day I specify a corner for shoes and try that kids drop their shoes in that corner.Though mostly its me who is doing it because either my kids are tired or not in a mood or in a bad mood or will definitely do it later :P
• Spot the nearest shop or superstore and get a good lot of milk packs,water,cereal bars, kids' favourite spread ,bread,some fruits and a pack of zip lock bags to keep sandwiches. Each morning, before leaving hotel put required number of bars, milks packs, sandwiches and water bottles in your backpack to avoid sudden hunger pangs which soon turns into tantrums. I prefer to take cereal bars as they are more convenient and my kids love them. Bread and spread are better to curb in room cravings.
• Don't bring any junk food to your room!
• Don't try to stuff kids with food against their will. Its not a good idea to turn vacations into food wars with kids. I know for us moms its mission impossible to hold ourselves back from fussing over unfinished meals but believe me that you will get better results if you ignore it, only for vacations. They will not starve themselves, they will come to you asking for milk or fruit or cereal the moment they will feel hungry. And please no reprimanding when they come to you like....' I knew that,you always do this...when I was begging you to eat you were running away and now you want to stuff your stomach with these bars....remember, they are for emergency not for your untimely cravings..............you love to trouble me............................!!!   
• ' Happy Mom Happy Family ' whenever I've tried this its effecectiveness was beyond words so try to be in good spirits all the time and everyone around you will rock :)
  
• Its not an old story but a short tale from our last trip abroad. We were in Malaysia and got late in the morning. We quickly dressed up and left hotel in an excitement as we were going to the bird park. Kids were really excited. As it was almost around twelve and everyone was hungry so we decided to have lunch first. My hubby suggested to go to McDonald which was very close to hotel  and kids agreed but I simply refused on the grounds that we should try something new and local. Well, there was an argument between me and my daughter who so wanted to eat McDonald. However with the support of hubby I won the contest and we headed towards the nearest mall. Food was really sumptuous but lunch was a disaster. Both the kids simply refused to eat as they didn't like the taste and grumbled that food is spicy, little one refused to sit in high chair and kept on running, me and hubby kept on bribing .... you're so good mashAllah please eat and then we'll get some ice cream, threatening ...... we'll not take you to any other trip if you cannot eat local food :O   and eventually scolding ........ look all this food is getting wasted :-/         Unfortunately by the time lunch was finished, all of us were in low spirits and bad moods. Lesson learnt was that there is no harm to try new cuisine but not at a time when

you have to reach somewhere

you are running short of time and your mental muscles are already strained

its a new place and you're not sure of taste of food they provide ( my kids were right, food was way spicy than they are used to eat !)

kids are not interested

 

Following evening we tried a nice Malaysian restaurant and it was a great hit because

 

We had plenty of time and were not in a rush

It was a mutual decision and kids were prepared to try something new

We read and reread and reread menu and wisely chose our dishes

 

• Vacations are incomplete without photos. But sometimes we spend most f our time in calling and collecting family members for perfect family pic. Everyone wants to have beautiful recollections to enjoy in future.But in this past and future duel we neglect our present. So be there! Capture memories but without a big fuss. Let your kids walk,talk,run,play and laugh and keep on clicking as much as you want without bothering about proper poses. However one family photo per place is a must to have :D

• Its almost impossible to visit all the places of any resort so don't rush from one place to another. Plan according to your family preferences and enjoy !!!
• In childhood nothing can surpass the Joy of licking an ice cream cone,munching pop corns and gobbling candy floss while you are on vacations. So let your kids have some junk and memories to cherish!
 
 
 Vacations are the best time to bond and connect! And being 'mom' you are the centre of gravity! With little effort and hard work, some planning and preparation, lots of hugs and too much of kisses you can turn your vacations into ever lasting memories for your kids :)

 



 



 

 
 

 

On board with kids :)

This is so true, with all the mess, fuss and yelling, every day seems like 'a long day's journey into night' but time flies by and we realise it when our tiny tots take the route of pre teens. All time cuddles and snuggles turn into at times hugs! So don't miss these chances and making memories!

Travelling with kids always freak us out. But a little planning physically as well as mentally can make it real FUN for all of us. Here I'll share some of my hands on knowledge which I gained over last many years after a real LOT of travelling :)

  I wish you a  happy reading and do share your own tips and tactics as well :)

TRAVELLER MOM'S 101

•  Once you have finalised the place and time for vacations start making a 'to do list' , stick it on your most accessible place and keep adding on chores whenever and whatever comes to your mind. I personally love sticky notes which I keep in my every room along with a pen. So if I'm working and anything comes to my mind I note it down and stick it on mirror.

• All the dresses, tee shirts, denims, pyjamas, anything which you want to take along, pick them up from kids drawers and closets and place them in the bag. If you don't want to start baggage burden a week in advance then simply start putting them away in a corner or dresser or any vacant place. Don't allow kids to wear them. It will be a pleasant job to put all these pre washed and ironed stuff in the bags. There will not be any surprises:   'Oh, that dress is still in laundry.'  ,  ' Where is my favourite denim.'  , 'I don't like this pyjamas,I only want my favourite ones!'      'Oh, there is a hole in this pocket!'       ' My princess shirt is missing.'       'My jacket is stinking and now we don't have time to send it for dry cleaning'  etc.etc.

• Always take your kids favourite clothes along while travelling to avoid any argument, 'You know I hate this shirt.' 'I will not wear this skirt at any cost' etc.etc.

• If you have a really picky and choosy kid, the best thing is to let him or her choose what to wear during vacations. Vacations are time to relax and reconnect not to argue and yell. So nip any such  incentive which may cause later arguments and power struggles, at very bud. 
• Either its a kid or grown up, there's nothing like denim. Stain resistant, stylish and can easily go with any type and colour of shirts.
• A big no to cotton trousers. Whatever you do they cannot last more than a day. And if a toddler is wearing them then don't forget to carry an extra pair of pants along. Its must they'll get soiled.
• A big no to laces when packing kids shoes. Joggers without laces are the best. Kids can easily put them on and there are no more cries after each half an hour,'Mommmm, laces!!!'
• A very big 'no' to all those cutie buyer's bargains which all of us collect over the time and assume travelling is the best time to try them on. That cute little wrist band or this pretty straw hat with fancy trimmings which makes your little plum looks  divine are a big NO if she keeps on throwing them. You don't need to spend half of your time in picking it up and putting it back on her head. There is no need to carry those stylish shades and pretty caps you once bought for your kids and now its a power struggle to make them wear it. Throw any such item back in the closet which makes your child to throw a tantrum. Your little jewels will look super cute with their sparkling eyes and smiling faces when you will start the day with compassion.
• Be practical and pack wisely! Any unnecessary item will be an extra burden and any unwanted thing will lead to nagging!
•  However any favourite bunny,dolly, hat or hankie is must to be on board with you if it can keep your bundle of joy happy :)
• For girls' hair do pink and white are the colours which may easily go with any girl's outfit. I still remember how I used to carry a big bag of ponies, clips, bracelets with me. But now I put two nice bands and four cute pins in pinks and whites.
• Remember 'Less is More' ! We moms so want our little pumpkins to look super cute that we burden ourselves with unnecessary clutter. Its really good to be a 'minimilist' at times :)
• Don't let number of clothes exceed number of days. I personally keep room for one tee shirt per child to get as a souvenir from the place we are visiting.However if shopping is not in the agenda then an extra t-shirt should be there. This doesn't apply to toddlers and babies. Moms are supposed to pack according to their individual needs.
• Never compromise on the number of socks and undies. You will need a pair per day. I still remember our last trip when we were in Singapore and we were short of socks and undies. So I washed them and hung inside the washroom. It took them long time to get dry and they carried an unpleasant smell of dampness,even though I've ironed them.
• Pair tee shirts with trousers or skirts and tights while packing.
• Put undies and socks in separate clear plastic bags.
• A backpack is must to have. While exploring your holiday resort you can conveniently put all the required things in it. Whether its your baby's extra clothes,wipes and diapers or your camera and other eatables. However if its a family reunion then instead of back packs, small trolley bags are preferable.
• Medicines!
• Kids love to carry back packs. Its a convenient and cute way to carry along kids required goods while on the go! And here are some dos and don'ts :
- a big NO to junk food
- YES to cereal bars, mini pack of flavoured or plain milk and water
- some crayons and a notebook or
- your child's favourite toy

 

• But a big NO to backpacks if your kids eventually refuse to carry them and in the end its you who has to carry their back packs in addition of your own. Its much better to prepare small goody bags and put them inside your own back pack.
• Moms' bags are like a treasury to kids which always carry something to soothe an agitated child whether he is a tot or a teen. Here is a list of my must haves:

- sanitiser

- wipes

- moisturiser

- pen (for you) pencil (for kids)

- mini notebook

- mini packs of munchies

- mini pack of napkins

- some band aids
- panadol

 

 

Above are the things which you should carry besides your regular stuff, lots of patience and loads of
 love !

 
Turn planning, preparing and packing into fun!
Be excited and thrill up your family!
 
Take travelling as a golden way to create memories !
 
Here you can read the next part http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=60557570393137756#editor/target=post;postID=2993379076369913046;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=0;src=postname 
 
 



Put your cell away!

It was a wonderful evening! We were invited to a dinner and I was enjoying talking to a graceful lady clad in fine chiffon dress with beautiful, manicured hands and a nice hairdo, when my eldest cutie pie F brought the conversation to a pause with her polite," excuse me"

"Yes Sweetie"
"Can I have your cell phone,please?"
"No, I refused with a smile.
"Please!Please!Pleaaeseeee! I so want to play a game! "
Its not a toy,sweetheart"
"I'm not a kid either, my nine and a half years old reminded me." I'll take care of it"

I perfectly knew where this argument was heading to. The sophisticated lady smiled. I felt uneasy. I knew it was not a place to lecture her so I decided to resign now while making a mental note of handling it later.

"OK , but for five minutes only." I didn't want to lose the battle
"No, twenty."
"Not at all, maximum ten."
"OK fifteen, done, please Mama"
"Fine but not a second more than that"
"Sure, definitely, love you mom."
"Love you too darling." I smiled and tried to connect the thread of conversation with lady again.

We hardly talked for five minutes when someone almost screamed in my ears."MammmmmA!"
Here was my six years old hero with tears in his eyes,wailing," Its not fair you give your mobile to aapi not me, you always do this, always....reeeeeen...aaaaan.....raaaaan....."
"Awww, mama ki jaan" I hugged him and promised,"when aapi is done you can get it."
"Noooooo!No!No! I want it now."
I thought its better to excuse myself and handle the situation. So I took him to his father who allowed him to use his own mobile. Though he is strictly against giving his cell phone to kids but since he got his separate one for official use so at times he compromises and specially when a conversation with a nice lady is getting interrupted time and again :)
Well, now situation was pretty under control. We had some good chat for around five good minutes when my daughter who was asleep in her stroller woke up. I sighed!It was not at all my day!
My little angel who usually wakes up smiling was not in good spirits that day and started crying on the top of her voice," Keeka wawa! Keeka wawa!" Her words for 'twinkle twinkle little star". I got up, took the mobile from F and gave it to her sis after playing her favourite app for nursery rhymes.

The way back home was the reprimanding time for elder ones. They quietly listened our lecture while the baby happily enjoyed kika wawa on my mobile.

After couple of days, when that night and kids cellular tantrums were long forgotten, I was talking to my Ami through Tango, I said,"What a treasure this Internet is! We are in two different continents but we talk for hours without being worried about call charges, isn't it a blessing which has brought us so close!"
After a pause she replied," You are right but it has brought those close who are away but kept those away who are sitting beside you."
"Why so?" I asked
"Look you are in another country but still we are able to talk and share. I miss your presence but feel good when I hear your voice or see you and kids through video. But I know that you are away and if sometimes we couldn't talk its understandable but the thing which hurts me is to see your brothers and sisters, under the same roof ,some times sitting beside me but neither of them is free to talk to me."
"Why?"

"Because all of them are busy with their cell phones in chatting with their friends or getting or sharing information about their universities and colleges. I'm sure they do something important (my dear mom is a non web person with the least idea about current facebook etc. etc. hip hop) but I feel alone. Sometimes it looks as if I'm a land lady instead a mom, running a guest house....where I'm supposed to take care of laundry,dishes and food and to expect more than a smile or a compliment from my tenants is way too much.

It was quite a shock to hear all this from my Mom who doesn't like to complain at all...I'm part of a culture where families are closely knit together. Where people love to talk and share. Where evenings are celebrations. Where gatherings are rituals. And now there she was..feeling alone!

And that was the MOMENT when I realised what is wrong and what am I supposed to do about it !

The problem lies in the fact ;

“Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else’s.” – Joe Bob Briggs

It is a fact that they have made lives incredibly easy and they are so irresistibly attractive that to put them away seems the most difficult task on earth but the tragedy is that WE have ALLOWED them to rule over us. We have turned these very useful, cute, little gadgets into ZOMBIES..... forgetting the fact that they are supposed to facilitate our lives not to direct them. We should use them not to be used by them.

 Truly they have enhanced the solitary factors of our lives more than any other gadget.

There is no harm to google about things you don't know. Its lovely to discover old buddies on facebook. Its fascinating to reinvent the past...But...it should not be at the cost of your PRESENT and your PRESENCE!!!

I so want to say this to all those moms and dads,husbands and wives,brothers and daughters...whoever you are and wherever you are....you don't need to bring your office back home in your mobiles. Once you are home, its family time! Put your cells away! And I so want to say this to at home moms...once your kids are back home, pleaseeeee disconnect yourself from the web and reconnect to your bundle of joys!

  Listen and talk! Smile and make others smile too! Openly share and show that you care!

All these beeps can wait. All those messaging you would have definitely called you up had it been sooo urgent.

Enjoy the moment you are living NOW! It won't be there again!

Now is the time to RECONNECT with the people that are actually PRESENT and crave for your PRESENCE!

Put your cells away!

 There is a suggestion for those busy bees who are really busy "If its an important task and you cannot afford to take leave of your cell then.... important then define a specific time or  allocate a separate hour for it which everyone at home knows is your working or googling or whatsapping or chatting or whatever you wanna name it , time !
But..once its done...please put your cells away !!!

This is last part of my earlier post             

 I loVvve my Cell ... ( Part one )  click on the following link to read it :)
  http://bettertheme.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-lovvve-my-cell-part-one.html 

Stay blessed,stay happy and don't forget to leave a comment when you pass by :)

Thanks for reading :)

love

Aqs Hameed

I loVvve my Cell ... ( Part one )

I never knew the feeling of  having a smart phone till I got one from my hubby on my last birthday. It felt like holding a magic wand in your hands and I instantly fell in love with my Note 2. No more lap top charging, no more fuss over lost cords, no switching on or shutting down. Entire world was on my finger tips.

 Little A is sneezing...no worries, google about it while sorting laundry. Art projects for elder ones...You tube is there. In a mood to try some new recipes...all the cuisines around the world are a blink away. Wanna plan a surprise birthday for hubby...hundreds are out there to share hundreds of ideas. Kids are throwing tantrums...browse parenting blogs. Feeling frustrated...get motivated by sharing your feelings with others on different platforms.

From planning a holiday to ordering on line meals and getting tips about nursing...every solution was there! Life was fun!

And then there was facebook! Back in the age of laptop I eagerly used to wait for my kids to get asleep so that I can get a glimpse of my friends and relatives'lives.

 But now it was a click away. So I was all the time on the go! Not a single notification got missed!

 What a fun it is to see the pics of all those lovely people who used to be a part of your life in olden days. And obviously you would like to share your own pics as well! So there was an additional activity on top of my to do list..taking photos and uploading them. From kids to meals, places to parties nothing should be missing.
  However sometimes all these lofty statuses and amazing pics of my facebook lot would made me think ... "looks like these people have a lot of servants to do all the chores for them and their husbands are next to the CEO of some top ranking firm the way they are spending their vacations ( or no vacations) in world tours ;P "

And then all that sharing! Me and hubby sitting together, enjoying coffee, smiling and laughing...he is reading a hilarious joke shared by his old buddy and I am all smiles by looking at the latest photo of my school friend.

Everything was going perfectly fine till the day my elder daughter grumbled," Mama, Abu jan should have given you something else as a present?"

"Why?" I was amazed

"Why? she stated with her eyes wide open," because you are all the time busy with it!"

"That's not fair, I complained,"not all the time. just think who would have done all the work, had I been busy with my phone all the time?"

"May be when we are not around then you put it down, she was quite angry. " For last ten minutes I'm trying to tell you something but you are not LISTENING."

"Sweetie I was just  checking the whatsapp, there may be some important message. But now I'm  all yours, tell me what were you saying?"

Unfortunately the moment she started, my cell beeped and unconsciously I opened it.

"MAMA!" she protested and angrily went upstairs.

"Hey sweetheart listen to mama" I called her while liking new pic of my friend. But she was too angry that she didn't even reply. I decided to follow her but couldn't as my brain and fingers were busy searching some nice words to comment.

However, soon things took a better turn. My kids downloaded their favourite games on it and now they were in love with it as much as I was. But it started new argument that who will take it first :)

Then one day when I came out of kitchen holding my lil one, rest of family was relaxing in lounge. My sweet hubby was almost laughing  while reading something on mobile and my elder kids were hilariously laughing while watching or may be playing some game. It seemed quite strange to me. All of them, a father and two kids sitting on same couch, laughing together are in reality not laughing together.

It seemed so artificial that I abruptly suggested," Aaa..why don't you go out and play for a while? Weather is wonderful!"

No Reply

I repeated again but........ No Reply

This time I called each one of them with their names. I n return I received different tones of 'what?' in a same indifferent tone. I repeated my question but still there was no answer. My husband smiled and without even looking outside said," yeah, weather is good." and  got engaged with his interrupted activity. Kids however didn't bother to smile even.

That was the moment when I realised what frustrated my daughter so much!

I was hearing her but not listening to her!

It was the first twist in my smart phone love story!

There was something wrong! Seriously wrong! And I needed to do something about it!

Here you can read second part 'put your cell away'

Stay blessed,stay happy and don't forget to leave a comment when you pass by :)

Thanks for reading :)

After all, tomorrow is another day!

May be or certainly Margaret Mitchell herself was unaware while writing the last lines of her famous novel "Gone With The Wind" that they'll make such a statement! What an impact! What a gravity!

 

"After all,tomorrow is another day!"

 

But to me this sentence is a simply stated fact. I cling to its surface meaning without digging inside. To me its a silver lining. Whenever I feel frustrated, which I feel pretty quickly ;P this sentence reassures me, holds my hand and tell me," no worries,my dear! tomorrow is another day!"

 

 It says that it doesn't matter if I kept yelling on my kids the entire day.It's fine if my laundry is over due. Its OK if my kitchen sink is full of dishes. Its normal to be angry with my spouse once in a while :P Its fine if my sister is not answering my call..... just relax and sleep and don't forget that tomorrow is another day.

 

 Wake up a little early than usual with a smile on your face and warmth in your heart, snuggle on your couch, slowly sip a hot cup of tea and feel bliss in the air, cherish the quietness of the moment. Think about the blessings which you have in your life. Be Grateful. Shower your kids with hugs and kisses. Hold your spouse' hands and smile. Once they are off to school and office you can immerse yourself in laundry or kitchen sink :) or a phone call to your sis whatever you prefer :D  

 

 Embrace your today. Rise and shine. Spend your day better than yesterday and plan your tomorrow better than today......... because........ tomorrow is another day, a vision to be true, a promise to be kept, a dream to be realised, a reason to dream, a cause to smile and move on, a surprise to look forward to, a motive to change and grow, an incentive to be A Better Me!

 

How beautiful is this life and how gracious is our God who keeps on giving us chances. Now is our turn to take a turn :) A right turn! A positive turn!

 

As Heath L.Buckmaster writes,"Often its not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are but don't know how to be."

 

We cling to the habits which we abhor deep in our hearts. For years and years we keep on living the way we were. We seldom give a chance to our better selves. We nurture our fears and insecurities. We stick to stinginess and refuse to accept the sugary delights which life offers us. We guard our grudges and let go of wishful thinking. We grumble a lot and smile less. We prefer to yell but refuse to listen. We can't tolerate others but want them to be patient with us. We are always busy but expect others to be always there when we need them.

 

  Over the time our habits become our nature and we start assuming that this is what we really are! We start ageing but stop growing. For us life becomes a journey from one phase to another. We keep on revolving in our circles instead of moving ahead! Why???? because we don't accept our weaknesses. We do realise but we don't accept!

 

I really like this quote by Heath L.Buckmaster , " We are products of our past but we don't have to be prisoners of it "

 

Yes we really don't need to be a prisoners of past. We need to shed off our old rusty scales and welcome the bright, beautiful world outside.

 

Now is the time to stop refusing and start accepting!

 

Now is the time to unlearn the habits which burdens our souls and our lives, which prevent us from being Better Us.

Now is the time to move on :)

 

 

 Stay blessed,stay happy and don't forget to leave a comment when you pass by :)

Thanks for reading :)

love

Aqs Hameed