Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Please, don't embarrasse mama!



What an irony that the most embarrassed and awkward moments in our life are caused by the most beloved and benign people around us. These little people whom we love more than our life make our lives social sufferings. With onset of parenting, we start avoiding social gatherings, friends meat ups and all the lively get together we once used to love.

When my first baby was one and a half, I realized that it was more a trial than fun to attend dinners with her. Over the time it became a fixture and I started to avoid parties.  By chance if I happened to be in a party I used to feel myself as an odd one out. Sometimes I used to think that I'm an inefficient Mom who is totally unaware of raising her child and sometimes I concluded ," No, there is nothing wrong with me its this over eager, over stimulated, over hyper active child of mine who loves to indulge in every sort of naughtiness but hates to learn manners."

Now things are different, I know how to enjoy my time, my surroundings and my kids altogether, however it only took me ten short years and two more kids to realize that;
  • Neither its kids, nor its people who aim to embarrass us, its WE who are all ready to feel embarrassed.
  • When someone stares us at a time we are failing to control our child's tantrum, he doesn't mean to criticize us rather he empathize us.  
  • People who are turning their heads over and over again only want to know either baby is calmed down or still giving us tough time.
  • That old lady who is scrutinizing our acts may only want to help and share her thoughts.
  • Most of the times most of the people are compassionate towards moms, they try to relate and want to help with least interest to comment about our parenting skills.
  • However, its true that  there is a 'lot' of people who long forgotten their own 'parenting paranoia episodes' make us feel uncomfortable with their unsaid or at times said comments and gesture. Totally ignore them!!! Its 'them' who should feel embarrassed at failing to understand so obvious limitations of parenting.
Its a fact that we cannot expect to have bachelors fun time after kids but the sort of fun we enjoy with kids is incomparable. These bundle of joys are the purest essence of  pleasure! With little preparation and planning we can turn any event into a memory :)
  •  Always keep a small activity kit inside your bag. They can be any age appropriate things. I carry  a mini wipe off writing board, one small story book, a tiny note pad and one crayone for almost two years old daughter in addition to a teddy or dolly she loves to tuck under her arms. Two or three small cars, few little magnets, mini note pad, pencil and a story book for my six years old son. All these things can easily put inside a zip lock bag. Don't occupy space and weigh less.
  • You may dislike it but it has really served me well in hardest of situations.....keep a pack of 'm & ms' or any lolli pop or any sweet treats in your bag to instantly cool down a child :P You may go for organic candies too. But keep all of it as a last resort when you've burnt all other options to engage your child.
  • Excuse yourself if your child is getting cranky. Couple of months ago we were having dinner with some friends when little A started banging the chairs. Though her aim was higher than that...throw flat wares but I held her in my arms and took her out for a while. We walked and waved at things and people and returned in a better and calm mood.
  • Its quite a shock for mommies that they are being invited to some nice and fancy restaurant. Don't panic, your host has invited you with all his mental faculties running smoothly :) No one can dare to ask you leave if your baby is crying or your toddler is getting unreasonable. Family restaurants and people who come there, have tolerance for 'tots tantrums' :)
  • Don't lecture kids once you have left premises of your front yard. Home is the right place for this :)
  • Nothing can disrupt your fun, till you yourself allows. It's acceptable and expectable if your baby spills water or your child eats clumsily. Take a napkin and wipe off the mess or call a waiter.
  • Any messy situation can sparkle with the calm and serenity you show while handling it, instead of yelling, "What have you donnnnnne!!!"
  • Always prefer your kids favorite venue to invite a family over dinner.Kids will enjoy the food while you can have some good chit chat :)