Friday, 6 December 2013

Five minutes means five minutes !

You must be in awe  to see the title! Obviously weekend is not at all right time to discuss limits and boundaries. Kids are so high spirited over the weekends that it seems a mission impossible to control them :)

Every weekend there used to be a debating session at our place between mama, baba and kids. Core issue were :
 how long kids can be up on weekend nights! 
weekend means no studies!
Its weekend we can watch as much cartoons as we want!
We will be outside for unlimited time and if you'll call us even its for dinner, we'll throw tantrums!
 
 I am totally in favour of weekend fun! If we are looking forward to weekends, so are our kids! All of us need time to relax! So, whenever my kids wanted to play outside for some more time. I always allowed them. But unfortunately it was a never ending story. I'm calling them for dinner and there they are giggling and shouting," mama five more minutes..pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!! promise we won't take long."
 
Seriously, these little people are smarter than our imagination. They know us better than we know ourselves. Our push buttons are always in their access :)
 
We are living in a compound so kids have an all time access to swings, friends and mommy manipulation! I love it when kids play outside, close to nature, far from screen time! Kids knew this! And they took advantage of it! Five minutes used to turn into ten, fifteen, twenty and at times in an hour. And funny part was that instead of ending in thanks and smiles, there were always mumble and grumble, "We couldn't get enough time to play." "We just started a new game." "No one goes home so early, all of our friends are still outside."etc. etc. And same scene got repeated every time whenever I gave them extra time for any activity. They were always angry and unsatisfied.
 
I was wondering that whats going wrong. I'm listening to them. Giving them extra time to have more fun but still we end up in cries and complains.
 
Then finally I realised!!!
 
 I realised that kids need routine, they love routine! Kids crave for rules and limits! Yes, believe me, they really do! They don't admit it, they deny it but this is what they want!
Lack of gentle limits, routine and timings leave them in confusion.
 
Our toddlers and pre teens are in such high energy levels, they don't bother about rest and food.Even if I let my child play till his last friend is gone home, still he comes home grumpy complaining that the game they were playing was not the one he wanted to play. So don't assume that giving extra time will bring extra fun. Though it always exhilarate kids to have more time to play. But more they play, more they get tired and more they more they get tired more they are pron to throw tantrums!
 
Timings and routines help them to act more positively. They feel secure about themselves, their actions and decisions! They learn to value their time. They learn to prepare and plan. They learn to control themselves. And eventually take first step on the road of being responsible and successful adults!
 
Kids trust their parents more than anyone and anything. Being parents, its our responsibility to direct our kids. Facilitate things for them. Let them help to develop healthy life patterns.
 
They may feel frustrated. Be there! Be compassionate! Relate to their situation! But be firm in your gentle demands! Don't let them manipulate you or irritate you with threats and smiles :) Let them learn to respect time, value it, utilise it not waste it! Whether its an infant, toddler, tot or pre teen they love to have a routine!
 
There is no harm in being flexible. It's cute and very mommy like to respect ' five more minutes' yells
but ' five minutes must be five minutes!'
 
Its a part of our series ' How to be a better Mom in 31 days! '

Day One: COMPASSION!
Day two: Be Prepared
Day three: Be there!
Day four: Watch your expectations
Day five: Let's bake some cupcakes!

Loads of thanks for reading :)

Wishing you a wonderful day !

Do share your thoughts with us in 'comments' below :)
I would love to read your words :)