thebeTTerME: Our kids are for different times !!!

Though I’ve aptly mastered to erupt a fake laugh when required yet my preference is to smile. It’s not that I’m an emblem of finesse; the core cause is that I’ve a pretty poor sense of humour. Don’t get mad at me if you are a laughter lover because it is the way I am born with :) however my little chipmunks are giggle glaciers. They have special expertise in turning a serious matter into roaring laughter. From study to sleep everything triggers their sense of humour and my itchiness! I have to burn my entire energies to make them sit and study but it flares me up like anything when instead of concentrating I see them laughing at me in my face. I don’t need to dig deep in my heart to know that this untimely merriment bothers me. I feel being betrayed. It unconsciously pinches me to see that my kids are not like me in this regard. How hard I try to realise myself that these bustling bunnies are far better than my barely breathing, almost nonexistent sense of humour, still I can’t help being disappointed :(

It is not the only case, there is another twin sister as well and that is ‘respect’! You have all the rights to think I’m a conservative, old soul :) If you peek into childhood you will remember that no matter, how pampered, moody, stubborn and strong headed we were but we never lacked a certain level of respect for our elders. But here we find our happy go lucky kids least bothered about what we say! Even with a tiny tot a tiny matter starts with why and ends in an argument. It’s a bit much to ask them simply say, “Jee Mama”.

Well, this is what we call ‘generation gap’ which paves a road to misunderstandings, continuous on going rifts, power struggles, rising debates and petty arguments!

Where does lie the solution?

It lies in ‘realisation.’ It lies in ‘more acceptance and less expectance’!

What a beautiful thought we find in this saying by Hazrat Ali, “ Don’t expect your kids to be like you. They are born for different times.” How truly fascinating! They are different because they are born for different times. They cannot be our ‘mini Me’. They are ‘individuals’ with innate tendencies! Neither are they subject nor should we subject them to our wills. Allah has assigned parents the role of being a guide, a director, a facilitator not a dictator.

Give values to your children, don’t try to EVALUATE them!

Appreciate them and relate to them!

Be compassionate and cherish them for what they are!